Alone
by Durgas Dragon
Summary: "So he focuses on what he can control, and eats pie and jam and cookies, and works on being happy with what he does have. Because while he's alone and he's learned how to be alone, he has friends and fans and freedom here, and that's enough. Life's not perfect, but it's good. He can work with that."


**Alone**

 _ **Disclaimer: This is a purely fan-made piece that is using the world and characters from Ngozi Ukazu's**_ **Check Please!** _ **, and is made entirely for enjoyment. No financial gain has been made in the making of this piece. All other situations and plot developments are mine.**_

 _ **Summary: "**_ _ **So he focuses on what he can control, and eats pie and jam and cookies, and works on being happy with what he does have. Because while he's alone and he's learned how to be alone, he has friends and fans and freedom here, and that's enough. Life's not perfect, but it's good. He can work with that."**_

 _ **Author's Note: So I may or may not be completely obsessed with this comic right now…we'll just leave it at that. Also, there's not nearly enough Tater/Snowy stuff out there. It should be noted that I know next to nothing about hockey, as well as being unable to speak Russian or Ukrainian (everything used here came either from the internet, my Russian/English Dictionary, or**_ **Curse & Berate in 69+ Languages** _ **). Possible out-of-characterness and un-beta'd.**_

 _ **Constructive Criticism is always welcomed**_

 _ **Published: 22 November 2018**_

 _ **Rating: T**_

 **Alexei had told Jack's little baker that one of the main reasons he immigrated for hockey was to escape his famous parents' shadows. That was a big reason, but it wasn't the main one. The United States of America offers him a freedom his homeland never could. And while he plays a sport that definitely doesn't approve of falling in love with another man, at least it isn't illegal.**

 **It's okay; he's used to being alone. He's just grateful for the opportunity.**

 **When Jack announces his love for his baker, Alexei is surprised. He's shocked that Zimmboni has the courage for this, and a little annoyed that he didn't figure it out himself. Also, all those times that Zimmboni weaselled out of dinner?** _ **Alexei could have been eating pie**_ **. Really, really, really good pie, and Jack has deprived him of all that food!**

 **Still, it's sweet how deep Jack is in and Alexei finds himself getting more protective of his new captain. Jack is brave in ways that Alexei isn't, and he wants to honour that. So he works extra hard to try and send Jack home in one piece. It's his way of paying homage.**

 **And if there's reward pie and jam in the mix, well, he's not going to complain.**

 **Sometimes, in Alexei's weaker moments, he thinks about being that strong, being brave enough to openly love in the face of everything around him. But then he remembers his incurable and ill-advised infatuation and how he can never have him, and how that wouldn't be fair to whomever he was trying to date; he won't be the guy who goes out with other people who also want to find love when someone else has his heart. He can't be that cruel.**

 **So he focuses on what he can control, and eats pie and jam and cookies, and works on being happy with what he does have. Because while he's alone and he's learned how to be alone, he has friends and fans and freedom here, and that's enough. Life's not perfect, but it's good. He can work with that.**

 **"Earth to Tater!"**

 **Alexei looks up and Snowy—handsome, often foul-mouthed, surprisingly sensitive Snowy—looks down at him, eyebrow cocked.**

 **Alexei beams at his goalie, and tries not to light up like a spotlight. "Hello! Hi, Snowy. I am sorry—I am wandering thoughts in my head."**

 **"Yeah, I noticed." Snowy jerks his thumb towards the nook. "Jack just told me that his boy send along another pie, eh? I thought you'd like to know before Guy or Marty figure it out, or Nate gets his hands on it."**

 **Alexei immediately drops his stick and the tape, and starts towards the nook. Little Bitty's pies are the best think Alexei's life that he's allowed to have, so he can't miss out. "Thank you! Come! Pie!"**

 **He catches the edges of Snowy's mouths softly curving as he hurries by; it's not a smile, but it is close and all the sweeter for it.**

 **They time it almost perfectly—there are two slices left and Alexei angles his body so the pie tin is hidden until he and Snowy both have their pieces. To make things even better, it is blueberry pie and Little Bitty has made whipped cream to top it.**

 **He sits down next to Snowy and asks "How is Sonya?"**

 **Snowy glances over at him, face unreadable. "Sofia's fine," he says and Alexei can't get over how** _ **formal**_ **Snowy always is; he never calls her Sof, Sonya, Vivi, Soniya, or any other diminutive. He always uses her name, which is so strange to Alexei (one of his favourite things about hockey is it lets him indulge his Russian identity and use nicknames and diminutives for** _ **everyone**_ **and** _ **everything**_ **). He supposes to each his own, but it still feels weird.**

 **"How is her prayer shawl?"**

 **The goalie's beautiful brow furrows for a moment, and then smooths out. "Done, I think. I haven't seen her knitting anything that size recently."**

 **Alexei shakes his head. "Snowy, you must be interesting in Sonya's fun. If you do not show it, she will think you are not caring." As much as he hates giving relationship advice, Sofia is blonde and pretty and fun, and Snowy would be hard-pressed to find someone as easy-going and understanding as she is. If Alexei liked women, he would joke about stealing her away because she really is great.**

 **Besides, offering advice of this sort is something Alexei has overheard other guys doing, and it helps him from wearing his heart out on his sleeve.**

 **Snowy slowly scraps the last bit of pie off of his plate. "Yeah, I know."**

 **Something in his voice is slightly off, so Alexei pats his arm. "You just must remember that, but since you are good boyfriend, is not hard for you."**

 **Another sideways look, but this one is accompanied by another soft curl of lips. Alexei knows it's a bad idea, but he spends a moment admiring how gorgeous his friend is.**

 **Then—before he stares too long or does something inadvisable—he stands up and clasps Snowy's shoulder. "You tell Sonya I score her goal in next game, okay?"**

 **"What about me?"**

 **Alexei doesn't freeze, but it's a near thing. Slowly, his head turns and he looks back over at Snowy. "What?"**

 **"What about me? Will you score a goal in the next game for me as well?" Snowy's very blue eyes are intense and Alexei thinks there's not enough oxygen in the room.**

 **"For you, I score two," Alexei's mouth said with no input from his brain.**

 **Slowly, Snowy smiles. It is a real smile—warm, private, and perfect. "Three goals in one game? That's a lot, don't you think?"**

 **Alexei considers it. "Game series," he decides. "I do it our next game series."**

 **"Three goals in a Stanley Cup game series." Snowy's pretty mouth is still curved upwards. "Ambitious. I like that." He stands up. "I'm going to hold you to that. Catch you at practice later, eh?"**

 **Alexei nearly floats back to his stick. Jack's baker has sent blueberry pie and Alexei got to eat some with Snowy. There's not much that could improve the situation, but only realistic way to makes things almost perfect would be winning the Cup.**

 **So he returns to taping his stick; he has to pull off the last row because the tape has gotten tangled when he dropped it earlier, but he doesn't mind. It's calming.**

 **There is the added bonus by sitting here, he's able to hear Poots's anguished yell of 'there was PIE and nobody told me?!', which is quickly followed by a furious bellow of Jack's name from Nate.**

 **All in all, things are good and Alexei hopes they stay that way.**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

 **The first game of the series is a mess. Guy gets into a fight, half the team ends up in the penalty box for a good portion of the game, and the Schooners are scoring like there's no tomorrow.**

 **The second game is less of a mess, but Snowy misses an important shot in a shoot-out and they lose. The only good thing to come out of the game is that Alexei gets an assist on the single goal they made.**

 **"You tell Sonya, that one was for her, okay?" Alexei tells a despondent Snowy in the locker room after the game. "I work on yours next, да?"**

 **Snowy clearly tries to muster up a smile. "Okay." He gestures tiredly. "I'm just…I need a shower."**

 **Alexei nods and wishes there was more he could do. He knows that his goalie is angry with himself, but there isn't anything he could say to make Snowy feel better. If he was Little Bitty, he would have cookies or a pie to help ease the sting, but nothing Alexei could make would even be comparable to Little Bitty's.**

 **He's still stewing on the point when Snowy's mobile goes off. Normally, he would leave it alone, but he can see Sofia's name flashing across the screen (no heart, no special ringtone,** _ **nothing**_ **—Alexei might have to give his goalie a talk about** _ **romance**_ **), so he doesn't think twice. He answers it. "Hello! Hi, Sonya! Did you see assist I got for you?"**

 **"Oh, hello Tater," she replies, sounding a bit surprised but not in a bad way. "I did see that! That was for me?"**

 **"Yes, of course! Did not Snowy tell you? I promise you goal." From the corner of his eye, he sees Marty wave at someone as he leaves. A moment later, Snowy comes in, still damp from his shower. He looks a little confused when the Russian gives him a stern look.**

 **"No, he neglected to tell me that. If I had known, I would have recorded it. Then I could show all my friends." Sofia laughs brightly. "But while I love that you've gotten an assist for me, what about Mykhail? Don't you think your teammate deserves it more than I do?"**

 **"Have no worries, I have him cared for," Alexei reassures her, winking at Snowy. "I make next goal for him."**

 **Snowy rolls his lovely icy eyes and holds out his hand. "Tater, stop talking and give me my phone."**

 **Alexei tilts the phone away from his mouth but he doesn't cover the receiver so Sofia can hear him. "Why you do not tell Sonya about her goal? So not nice, Snowy! So not nice!"**

 **"Oh, for the…shut the fuck up, Tater," Snowy snaps, but his eyes are brighter than they were when he went into the shower. "Give me my phone."**

 **Alexei dances out of the way, enjoying Sofia's laughter in his ear and how his goalie is looking at him. "You hear him? So not nice to me and I will be getting goal for him!"**

 **"You promised me two, asshole, and you haven't fuckin' delivered on either. Give!"**

 **Alexei makes his teammate chase him for a little longer because it seems to make his goalie happier, but he lets himself be captured. He doesn't give up the phone immediately, using his height to his advantage and holding it above his head. "Sonya! Tell him this is not how he treats me!" He yells over her increasing laughter and Snowy's swearing.**

 **He does cede after a few minutes, and he goes to the showers so they can have some privacy. If anyone can make Snowy feel better about the night, it will be his girlfriend. She's sweet and caring and she won't let him obsess over 'would'ves, could'ves, should'ves'.**

 **Alexei comes out when he thinks the appropriate amount of time has passed. He doesn't want to leave the shower too soon and cut Snowy's time short, but he also doesn't want to look like he's hiding. It seems that he's timed it nearly perfectly and Snowy is saying "okay, eh? Are you positive? Yeah, sure. Yeah, later.** _ **Добраніч**_ **.** _ **Бувай**_ **."**

 **A warm shiver slides down Alexei's back because he loves hearing Snowy speaking Ukrainian. It's so close to his own native Russian, but it's different enough to be almost exotic. Sometimes, when he's feeling more alone than usual, he imagines what it would be like to have Snowy murmur Ukrainian endearments in to his ears.  
He pushes the thought away before it becomes more; he doesn't need to embarrass himself now.  
He tosses his comb and things into his locker before he flops down on the bench. He tilts his head in Snowy's direction. "I cannot believe that you do not tell Sonya!"  
"Oh, fuck off, Tater. Not everything is about you." Since the goalie smiles as he says this, eyes bright, Alexei knows he can chirp a little more.**

 **"Ah, but all important things are."**

 **This startles a bark of laughter out of Snowy. "Self-centred bastard." He reaches over and ruffles Alexei's dark hair.**

 **Oh, that feels nice. Before he can think too much about it, Alexei leans into the touch, going a touch boneless.**

 **Snowy's hand freezes for a moment, but then he cards his fingers through a few more times and Alexei lets his eyes slip shut.**

 **"I take that back," the goalie murmurs a little later. "You're not a self-centred bastard—you're a cat."**

 **"Cats are smart," Alexei replies, well on his way to being more relaxed than he has any rights being after losing two games in a Stanley Cup series. "Gets fed, gets love, gets what they want—good life."**

 **"Arrogant, bossy, smug—yeah, you're definitely a cat."**

 **"You forget 'cute'. Cats are cute and I am very cute."**

 **"Are we interrupting?"**

 **Alexei cracks open one eye. Thirdy's eyebrows are high, but he might be a bit amused. Jack just looks a little confused.**

 **"Snowy says I am cat," Alexei informs them lazily, probably glowing from all the attention from the honey-brown haired man. "** _ **Мяу-мяу**_ _ **.**_ **"**

 **Thirdy snorts. "Man, cats say 'meow', not 'myau'!" He's** _ **definitely**_ **amused as he goes over to his locker.**

 **"Nah, Tater's right," Snowy says. "What kind of fuckin' cats says 'meow'? They** _ **clearly**_ **say** _ **Мяу-мяу**_ **."**

 **"Slavic languages," the dark skinned man mutters. "You're wrong, man. Cats totally say 'meow'."**

 **"I was always taught that they say 'miaou'," Jack says unexpectedly, his accent rolling the sound more into a 'mooeeee' than a non-** **Québécois's** **would have. "So I'm inclined to say you all are wrong."**

 **The conversation devolves from that point, but they probably all need something ridiculous right now, just to let go of the game. Throughout the whole thing, Snowy keeps running his fingers through Alexei's damp hair, occasionally even gently dragging his fingernails against his scalp, which causes Alexei to lose the trail of the conversation whenever it happens.**

 **It's the happiest Alexei's been in a long time and he knows that he'll keep this moment close to his heart, just to have when he needs it.**

 **Right now, he's simply going to enjoy Snowy's fingers in his hair for as long as he can.**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

 **Alexei works hard to keep his whoops inside while Jack and the others are being interviewed, but it's hard. They** _ **won**_ **! Not only did they win, they** _ **flattened**_ **the Schooners! They are still in the running for the Cup!**

 **And Alexei got a goal! Not an assist, but an actual** _ **goal!**_

 **Guy and Poots start spilling champagne all over everyone and everything the moment the reporters are out of the way as they try to pour it into whatever cups are available. Alexei can't seem to stop laughing as he hooks his arms around Jack and Snowy and jumps around with the rest of the team.**

 **Later, when he and Snowy are stumbling back to their hotel rooms, drunker than is probably advisable, he says "see? I tell you I get you goal."**

 **Snowy snorts out a laugh and presses his nose into the Russian's shoulder. "Damn straight you got that goal. Prettiest fuckin' goal in the game."**

 **"Just for my goalie, да?"**

 **Snowy looks up and there's a softness in his face that Alexei's never seen and it makes his breath catch slightly in his throat. He leans forwards, tilting more into his goalie's space before he manages to stop himself.**

 **But then his forehead is pressed against Snowy's and it takes everything he has not fall right against Snowy's pretty mouth. He isn't strong enough to pull away, but at least he can exercise the little bit of self-restraint that he has to not ruin** _ **everything**_ **by kissing Snowy.**

 **Somehow, he makes sure that Snowy makes it back to his room safely and he gets to his own room with no major mishaps. As he unsteadily downs a sports drink, he allows himself to have a lovely dream, one where he and Snowy don't part ways and just curl up around each other before going to sleep.**

 **Then he pushes the dream away because there's no need to torture himself. They won. The team still has a chance at the Cup. Snowy is his friend. These are the good things in his life and he needs to hold on to them.**

 **He clumsily climbs into the bed and grabs the extra pillow so he can wrap himself around it. He tells himself it makes it easier to sleep and not that he's using it as a substitute for what he can never have.**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

 **The game is going well. Snowy's blocked some pretty spectacular shots and they're currently in the lead by a thread. Alexei has the puck and he's moving down the ice pretty fast. Things are clear in the way they are when everything lines up. He has the perfect shot—**

 **One of the Schooners d-men** _ **slams**_ **into him and he hits the ground hard. It's not so bad, just a missed opportunity—**

 **Something comes down** _ **hard**_ **on the back of his knee and Alexei nearly screams. For the first time** _ **ever**_ **, he is paralyzed with pain and all he can do is feel how bad it hurts.**

 **But that's not the most horrible thing. The most horrible thing is that he can't get up. He tries to get to his feet and his leg** _ **won't work**_ **. He would take the pain** _ **any**_ **day because it means that his legs work and he still could play.**

 **They get him off the ice—somehow—and he is rushed to the first to the trainer's room and then to the hospital.**

 **And it's** _ **awful**_ **—tests and doctors poking and prodding him and he** _ **doesn't know how the team is doing**_ **.**

 **One of the nurses—a hockey fan (one who likes the Aces—there is simply** _ **no**_ **accounting for taste) finally takes pity on him and gives him highlights of the game in between doctors, even going so far as to stream a few of the plays on her phone so Alexei can watch them.**

 **The Falcons win, and it's a bittersweet victory for Alexei. He's happy they won—ecstatic, even—but if they get the Cup, it's going to be without him. He doesn't know how bad his knee is yet, but he does know he won't be playing any of the final games.**

 **He pushes away the small voice that says that depending on the injury, he might not ever play again. Because he doesn't have anything outside of hockey right now. It's all he knows. He doesn't have a university education and his grades growing up were mediocre enough that he doesn't know a single university in the world that would take him. If his knee is gone, he can't do any physical labour, which shuts out almost all the remaining jobs open to him. He has a little bit of money put aside because his needs are simple and few, but he knows how fast money can vanish; once it is gone, what will he do? Where will he go? He won't go back to Russia, not to live out a lie, but the cost of living in the Unites States of America is higher than it is in Russia. He doesn't know what he'll do.**

 **The fear claws at the back of his throat when the doctors finally come in with his results. He nearly cries with relief when the doctor says that he'll be able to play next season, if he rests, takes care of his leg, and follows the doctors' orders.**

 **Alexei can do that. If it means he can keep playing, he can do that.**

 **They get a brace for him and they have a little troubles fitting it to him (Hockey Nurse makes a joke about 'hockey thighs' as she pulls off the second brace and goes to look for a third). He listens as intently as he can to the care instructions and medicine instructions and follow-up instructions, but he's tired and the current pain meds they have him on are making him slow and dopey in a bad way.**

 **Finally, they help him into a wheelchair and wheel him out.**

 **The entire hallway erupts into cheers and yells the moment he gets out of the room, and Alexei realises** _ **the whole team**_ **is waiting for him. He has to swallow hard so he doesn't cry in front of them because it's so touching and sweet, and** _ **this**_ **is why he can't give up hockey or this team.** _ **This**_ **is why he's going to tell George when his new contract is negotiated at the beginning of next season that he wants a 'no-trade' clause.** _ **This**_ **is why he has to keep playing.**

 **He shakes hands with Marty and tells Thirdy he'll break his other leg if he tries to read him some poetry as Guy comes over, looking a little less stoic than usual. He grabs at Guy's sleeve. "Guy!" He says because he is full of painkillers. "If anyone gets too close to goalie, you punch, да? I cannot, so you must for me!"**

 **Guy nods seriously, as if he truly understands. "I will," he promises. He pats Alexei's shoulder. "Get better, little potato. We're going to need you next season when we win the Cup again." Alexei finds Guy's conviction that they'll win this year as well as next year to be nice. Maybe a bit unrealistic, but nice.**

 **Alexei then sees that Snowy is standing right next to Guy and his cheeks are a little pink over his shaggy beard. "Hey, Tater," he says, looking a bit awkward. "Get better soon, eh?"**

 **"Snowy, I did not get second goal for you," Alexei says sadly. "I am—"**

 **"No." Snowy interrupts him sharply. "It's…it's not fuckin' important, okay? You need to focus on getter better and not about some stupid goal." He crosses his arms tightly over his strong chest and glares at Alexei. "Get better."**

 **"Okay," he agrees and almost adds 'for you, I do so', but even his drug- and pain-addled brain realises that this is probably not a good idea.**

 **Poots and Frankie nearly push the others aside as they come up to Alexei, and he loses track of his goalie in the throngs of hockey plays who come up to wish him well.**

 **Zimmboni is standing at the end of the hallway, and he takes over pushing Alexei down from the nurse. "Bitty was very concerned about you," he says. "And…you have stairs to get to your apartment, right? I've got an elevator in my building and a spare room, if…you'd like. Bitty and I would be happy if you stayed with us, just until you can get back on your feet."**

 **Before Alexei can protest that he would never impose on Jack in such away, Jack pulls out the big guns. "Before you say 'no', I should warn you that Bits is not above baking bribery pies to get his way." The smile in his captain's voice is apparent.**

 **"B is not only one who will bribe," Alexei points out, because it's no secret how much he loves the baked goods that come out of Jack's kitchen and to wave nearly unlimited access to them in front of Alexei is just plain** _ **cheating**_ **. He hears Zimmboni chuckle slightly behind him. "But how can I say no to B? I could never. I will stay."**

 **"Good. Bitty will be pleased to hear that. He's been trying a few new recipes, so I'm sure he'll appreciate having a second person to try them out on, eh?"**

 **Alexei lays on the hotel bed later and decides he's too tired to call his parents right now. He does text them, giving them the bare bones of his injury, and promises to call them once he's woken up. He then deliberately turns off his phone and shuts his eyes. He breathes deeply for a minute, and then counts his blessings that he will be able to still play hockey. Maybe while he's laid up, he can figure out a back-up plan because today has definitely highlighted a need for one, but at least now, he has some time.**

 **He falls asleep, with that thought swimming in front of him.**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

 **The next game is a bit of a blur for Alexei. There are a few highlights—Jack punches the d-man who took out his leg, Guy punches a guy who gets too close to Snowy, Snowy makes an amazing save during a shoot-out—but they still lose.**

 **Disliking how fuzzy the pain meds have made him, he starts taking only half of the dosage and ignoring the pain. He'd stop taking them entirely, but Little Bitty is constantly plying him with treats so he doesn't take his pills on an empty stomach and Alexei is fairly certain that he's being monitored. So he compromises and makes sure that when he does take his pills, he does so that either Jack or Little Bitty or Jack's other friends see him.**

 **When Jack goes to pick up some things from Alexei's apartment, he comes back with Snowy in tow.**

 **"Your building as a lot of fuckin' stairs," Snowy says as he carefully puts down one of the bags. "I'm glad that you're not trying to climb them every day." He pauses, and then says "if you need to get away from the love birds"—he jerks his thumb in the direction of Jack and Little Bitty (who are being adorable and kissing each other 'hello')—"you can stay at my place. It's not a big as this, but I've got an elevator and access to just about every damn television show known to man, eh?"**

 **"Thank you." Alexei beams up his goalie and does not immediately dive into a fantasy where he and Snowy come home from hockey practice, kiss like Jack and Little Bitty just did, and then spend the rest of the evening curled around each other as they argue about what to watch next. At least, he doesn't dive** _ **too**_ **deeply.**

 **Just to be safe, he turns the conversation to safer topics, like Sofia and what she and Snowy are going to do in the off-season.**

 **Snowy, strangely, keeps resisting that discussion, so they finally end up talking about the latest Marvel movie (Alexei has very strong feelings about the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but some of those opinions he'd rather not be espousing to the handsomest man he knows).**

 **When Snowy finally leaves, he touches the Russian's shoulder gently, the edge of his thumb brushing the line between Alexei's Falcons' training shirt and skin softly. It sets his whole body aflame with awareness and it takes everything he has not to do something that will scare Snowy off.**

 **It's such a stupid, small thing, but Alexei touches the spot later that night, when he's alone in the guest room and dreams.**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

 **They win the Cup.**

 **They WIN the Cup.**

 **THEY WIN THE STANLEY CUP!**

 **They win, and Snowy smiles at Alexei before hugging him over the boards.**

 **It is the happiest moment of Alexei's life.**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

 **Snowy doesn't exactly fall into step with Alexei as he leaves the press conference because that's too hard to do when one of the people is on crutches, but he does stroll causally next to the Russian. "That was nice, what you did for Jack in there," he says. "And I know the rest of the team appreciated it as well."**

 **"I do nothing. I tell truth." Alexei protests. "Hockey is hockey. We work hard and we work together, and we win."**

 **Snowy shakes his head. "Tater, you can pretend you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, but everyone on the team knows what you did. You protected your team like you always fuckin' do, and you made sure everyone knows that they have to go through you to get at any of us."**

 **The taller man blinks at him.**

 **Pretty icy blue eyes roll. "You think we don't notice how many fuckin' pucks you've taken for Marty or how you'll punch anyone who gets too close to the goalie? Or how you always make sure that Thirdy always has a notebook and pencil so he can write his fuckin' crappy poetry? Or how you make sure that Poots doesn't strain his knees at practice or how you give Guy credit for just about every pass you make to him, even if there's no press there and everyone knows that Guy can't pass worth shit, or how you take care of Jack?" His mouth quirks up at the corner. "Or how you go after fuckin' Kent Parson like you have a one-man vendetta against him any time he's on the ice? Because everyone knows that the only connection you have with that guy is Jack and the fact that he rammed me during that game."**

 **Alexei opens his mouth, shuts it, and then says "B ask me to throw him across ice. Did not say how many times. I do not want him to think I not take him seriously."**

 **Snowy's smile widens. "Oh, are you throwing Jack's boy under the bus after all those pies he's made for you?"**

 **"He make me two pies for every time I throw that stupid rat," Alexei points out. If he wants to be honest, he'd throw that worthless rat into the boards for free, but if Little Bitty wants to reward his behaviour, Alexei isn't going to be the one to tell him 'no'. "I do not throw B under any bus."**

 **"It's an expression," the goalie says. "But you're just proving my point. The team—and probably the whole world—knows you've got us covered. People like Jack and Marty might be the strong foundations the teams rests on, but you're the glue that holds us all together."**

 **Alexei doesn't have a good response for this. He takes a few more steps before he finally says "I do nothing you all do not do for me."**

 **Snowy huffs out a small sound. "It's just…sometimes, you need to be reminded that we've got your back too, eh? We know you've got ours—you show us that all the damn time. You're not alone in this, okay?" He touches Alexei's shoulder.**

 **Alexei ignores how his heart speed up at the simple gesture. "Okay."**

 **Snowy's eyes are soft when he glances over. "Okay."**

 _ **Okay**_ **, Alexei thinks, feeling warm.** _ **Okay**_ **.**

 **xXxXxXxXxXx**

 **Cup Day was fun and the parade was a good time (somebody found a rickety go-cart from somewhere and Alexei is allowed to drive it all around the parade route, much to the amusement of the children and the chagrin of his teammates). And then the season is over.**

 **He moves back to his own apartment the moment the doctors clear him. It's not that he doesn't like being with Jack and Little Bitty; he just doesn't want to overstay his welcome. Besides, the two took a big step recently. Alexei figures that they could use some private space to figure out their lives without an oversized injured Russian in their way.**

 **His apartment is quiet and it only serves to highlight why Alexei hates the post-season so much. At least this year, it was delayed more than usual, and it isn't like he could be doing much of anything even if there was practice, but there's always something to** _ **do**_ **during the season. People are all around and Alexei can, if nothing else, experience their happiness.**

 **He mopes around his apartment for a week or so, only leaving for his physical therapy sessions and basic shopping before he scolds himself fiercely. If he is bored and lonely, that is on him. It would be easy to fix—not everyone is out of town. Jack and Little Bitty would come over for dinner if Alexei asked, and maybe they could be talked into bringing a few of their other friends; Thirdy and his family could probably be enticed to an afternoon activity or two; and Snowy and Sofia are in the area and would possibly be interested in hanging out one evening.**

 **He decides to start with Jack and Little Bitty. He would cook them dinner as a 'thank you', and if he is lucky, Little Bitty would bring some pie.**

 **He isn't much of a cook, but there is no time like the present to fix that problem. He gets his grandmother's pierogi recipe from his mother and then makes the wise decision to try making it for himself before he attempts anything for anyone as talented as Little Bitty.**

 **The fillings (he makes** _ **so many**_ **different types—sauerkraut, beet, sweet potato, potato and onion, spinach and cheese, sausage, and even a blueberry one for dessert) weren't too hard, but the dough wrappings!**

 **He didn't remember his grandmother having this level of trouble.**

 **He is muttering curses at the dough as he tries to get it from sticking to everything but what he wants to stick to when his mobile goes off. Since it is Snowy's ringtone that is filling the air, he does not ignore it like might have if it were anyone else.**

 **"Hello! Hi, Snowy!"**

 **"Tater," Snowy says. "I was in the area and I was wondering if you wanted some company for a bit."**

 **Alexei almost immediately agrees, but then he looks at his kitchen. "I would love, but my kitchen is not good for guests."**

 **"Okay, we'll go out."**

 **He looks down at the old shorts and training shirt he has on; he's covered in flour and dough. "I am also not good for guests."**

 **"God, what the fuck are you** _ **doing**_ **?" Snowy actually laughs and it warm Alexei from the inside out. "Now I'm** _ **definitely**_ **coming over. I'll see you in five, eh?"**

 **Alexei is torn between being fond and being annoyed, but since stairs still take a while, he tucks his mobile into his pocket and snags his extra parking permit and keys before slowly making his way downstairs.**

 **Snowy calls again when his is about two-thirds of the way down. "You had better not be coming down here," the goalie threatens. "Just buzz me in!"**

 **"I bring you parking permit so you do not get towed," Alexei replies. "And I am nearly to you."**

 **Snowy calls him a 'fuckin'** _ **idiot**_ **' and few other things that are probably deeply unflattering in Ukrainian, but Alexei is at the door by the time his tirade is really picking up steam.**

 **Snowy takes one look at him, abruptly ends his rant, and nearly falls over laughing. "Oh my god, why the** _ **fuck**_ **did you let a bag of flour vomit all over you?!" He wheezes out.**

 **Alexei barely notices that Snowy has lifted his phone to take a picture (probably so he can embarrass his larger teammate later) because Snowy's beard is gone. "You shave away your beard!" The beard is nice enough, but it covers Snowy's lovely, small sarcastic smiles, so it really is for the best that is has been eliminated.  
"And you've gone ten rounds in a bakery and lost every single fuckin' one, as long as we're stating the obvious. But yeah, it had to go. I looked too much like a Canadian lumberjack." Snowy holds out his hand, still snickering. "If you look like this, I'll bet your kitchen is going to be even better. Let me move my car and then you can show me, eh?"**

 **When they finally get up to Alexei's apartment and the kitchen comes into sight (Snowy is still concerned about his knee and insists on multiple breaks on the way up), Snowy laughs so hard he actually knocks himself flat on his ass.**

 **"Okay…okay," he gasps out finally. "I have to take a picture of this. I have to show Jack's boy this."**

 **Alexei almost dives for the mobile. "** **Нет! Not B!"**

 **"Whoa! Be careful of your leg!" The goalie drops phone as he lunges into the other man's space. "Don't fuck up everything the doctors did!"**

 **"I am being careful," Alexei hastily reassures his friend. "I do not want to sit on bench more than I need."**

 **"See that it stays that way." Snowy slides away and picks up his cell before straightening. "Now tell me what the hell your kitchen did to you to deserve this."**

 **"I make** **pierogi for Jack and B for thanks."**

 **Snowy lifts one eyebrow.**

 **Alexei's shoulders droop. "I am not so good."**

 **"Yeah, I'm inclined to agree. But luckily for you, I spent many a childhood day helping** _ **Бабуся**_ **make pyrohy for dinner." Snowy goes into the kitchen confidently and rummages in a few different drawers until he finds a dish towel, which he folds in half diagonally and ties it around his waist.**

 **"But Snowy, I making pierogi, not pyrohy," Alexei chirps, just to be annoying.**

 **"Oh, fuck you, you elitist Russian ass!" Snowy's glare is softened by the fact that he can't seem to keep his mouth from curving up. "You want my help or not?"**

 **Alexei holds his hands up in defeat. "Yes, I want," he says and tries to ignore the hot twist in his gut of the many layers of honesty those three words hold.**

 **Making food with Snowy is intimate in a way Alexei has never experienced. It is amazing and fun and horrible and heart-breaking and profound, all at the same time. He tries to savour it all, but he can think about is** _ **how am I going to survive never doing this with him again?**_

 **The nicest looking pierogis ("for fuck sake, Tater!** _ **PYROHY**_ **, not 'pierogi'!") get put into containers to be frozen until Alexei has Jack and his little baker over. The not-so-nice pierogis (the ones that Alexei made) get set aside so Snowy can fry them up later, after they try to undo some of the damage Alexei has wrought on his kitchen.**

 **As the clean-up winds down, Snowy takes the rag Alexei has been using and gently shoos him away. "Go shower. I'll get the pyrohy started and they should be mostly ready by the time you're done."**

 **Alexei protests, but the shorter man is firm. "I don't look like I went to a flour orgy at the wrong time," he says. "Go fuckin' shower."**

 **Alexei catches a glimpse of his reflection as Snowy slams his bedroom door behind him and okay, perhaps the other man has a point. He's a** _ **mess**_ **.**

 **He spends slightly longer showering than he normally would have—he doesn't know how he got flour** _ **there**_ **—and he has a brief internal debate on what looks like he's trying too hard. Does a touch of cologne reek of desperation or respect or something else? If he shaves again, do it look strange? If he wears the green shirt Little Bitty says make his shoulders look incredible or the jeans that showcase his legs, is he sending the wrong message to his best friend that could ruin things?**

 **In the end, he decides no cologne, no to the second shave of the day, no to the leg jeans, but yes to the green shirt and his favourite, well-worn jeans. Since Snowy smiles when he sees him, Alexei decides that he made the right choices.**

 **Snowy has not only finished their meal (there's now a salad and steaming bowl full of string beans), he's found some wine and he's set the table.**

 **The pierogis are not much to look at, but Alexei is pleased with how they taste and the variety of the different fillings he's picked. He asks if there was anything he should know about frying them for when he has Jack and Little Bitty over.**

 **"You know," Snowy leans forward and inclines his wine glass in Alexei's direction, "you could spare yourself the trouble and just have me come over and do it for you."**

 **"You and Sonya would want to come too? But you be my guest. I do not ask guests to work!"**

 **A strange expression flickers over Snowy's pretty face at Alexei's question. "You didn't ask; I volunteered. And it'd just be me. Sofia's too busy planning her wedding to have time for much else right now."**

 **Alexei drops his fork and it clatters loudly. "Wedding?" He gasps, equal parts delighted and crushed. "Snowy! You and Sonya—wedding?! And you not tell me before now? Ohhh…this is set-up! You surprise me with news, and then you ask me to be best man! I will be best best man for you** _ **ever**_ **—"**

 **"Tater! Stop talking!" Snowy snaps, and it's probably good that he does this because the Russian is only a step above babbling, and who knows what would come out of his mouth if he descended to that level. "Sofia and I are not getting married."**

 **"But…" Alexei trails off, not quite sure** _ **what**_ **to say in the face of this revelation.**

 **"She's going to marry her boyfriend Doug. They've been together since college."**

 **This makes** _ **no sense**_ **. "But…what about you? Why…" A thought occurs to Alexei. "You two have…how you say…'open' relationship?" He asks delicately. He had heard one of Jack's friends explaining it and while it was an interesting and strange idea, it was not for Alexei.**

 **"** _ **What**_ **? No! We're not in a fuckin' 'open relationship'! We're not even dating!" Snowy buries his face in his hands. "** _ **Why**_ **would you even…you know what? I don't want to know."**

 **"…I do not understand," Alexei finally says. Something important is happening, but he doesn't know what it is or knows what the implications are.**

 **Snowy sighs and lifts his head. "She's my goddamn cousin and beard, okay? She comes with me to Family Skate and shit like that, and I just let everyone make assumptions about us because it's easier that way, okay?"**

 **"…I thought beards were face hair."**

 **Snowy's laugh is a little hysterical. "** _ **That's**_ **what you took out of that?** _ **Seriously**_ **?" He shakes his head. "'Beard' is a slang term for a fake girlfriend you have so people don't think you're gay."**

 **The whole world comes to a** _ **screeching**_ **halt** **. Words die in Alexei's mouth and he is stuck in the moment where it seemed like Snowy—best friend and arguably the best thing that has ever happened to him—just implied that he is gay.**

 **Snowy rubs his forehead. "** _ **Гівно**_ **," he mutters. "I botched that." He sighs heavily and says in a louder voice "look, I get it. It's a lot, so I'll just—"**

 **"Go on date with me," Alexei blurts out.**

 **His goalie looks as startled as he feels. "What?"**

 **Alexei swallows hard. "Go on date with me?"**

 **Icy blue eyes narrow. "Why?"**

 **"Because you are beautiful and not dating Sonya?" The reasons feel pretty self-explanatory to Alexei, but maybe Snowy is one of those people who likes to hear things like that spoken out loud. Besides, it better to say that than to point out how long Alexei has been trying to not pine (and failing to do so) for his friend.**

 **Snowy's face and posture soften** **. He lets out a breath in a rush of air. "You know," he says, "I had it all planned out. I was going to come over and come out to you, and then I was going to try and feel out how you felt about possibly being in a relationship with another man, namely me. I wrote a damn speech and practiced it and fuckin'** _ **everything**_ **." He shakes his head before glancing over at the taller man from under his pretty lashes. "And then you had to go and fuck it all up."  
Because Snowy's mouth is doing that soft, sweet curve it always does when he is trying to contain his happiness, Alexei knows that he didn't screw things up too badly. "Sorry. I listen now if you want?" He offers seriously.  
Snowy barks out a quick laugh, shaking his head. "No, I don't think I want to now. You've already ruined everything and fucked over my whole plan by asking me out. I'm just going to have to make do with what's been handed to me, eh?" He picks up his dishes and gets up, still smiling.  
Alexei follows suit and they clean up from dinner in silence, a warm tension buzzing through the air. He touches Snowy—soft, hot, lingering little touches—as they work because he **_**can**_ **now. He doesn't have to restrain himself.**

 **"For** _ **fuck**_ **sake, Tater," Snowy says when Alexei drags his fingers over the goalie's hands and arm, voice rough and low in a way that raises the heat in the room. "I don't kiss until** _ **after**_ **the damn first date, so take me out already!"**

 **Alexei is too drunk on happiness and hope to want to leave the privacy of his home. "Do you receive kisses before date?" He makes sure to brush up against the smaller man as he reaches around him to put a plate away. It's a dirty play, but the Russian has waited too long. He doesn't want to have to wait through an entire date.**

 **Snowy stares at him and his eyes darken until there's almost no ice left. "…** _ **Трахати**_ **," he mutters, swallowing hard. "Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I do."**

 **"Good." Alexei carefully catches Snowy's hips and turns him so they're face-to-face. He leans forwards and brushes his lips against the shorter man's smooth brow. He busses soft kisses against the delicate, thin skin of Snowy's eyelids. He gently skims the curve of a cheekbone, the arch of a nose, the surprising roughness of a cheek. He drags his lips along the sharp edge of a jaw, the curl of an ear.**

 **"Tater," Snowy says, breathless and agonised and overflowing with want, "** _ **Alexei**_ **,** _ **Будь ласка**_ _ **.**_ **" He tries to capture the other man's mouth.**

 **Alexei makes a soothing, shushing sound and brings one hand to tangle in honey-brown hair so he can tilt Snowy's head. Slowly, he starts mapping the tendons and muscles of the shorter man's neck, noting what gets a favourable response and what doesn't.**

 **When he leans back a little bit a few minutes later, Snowy is the prettiest shade of pink and his fingers are bruising Alexei's biceps. He's wound** _ **so**_ **tight, tight enough that fine tremors are running through his body.**

 **But he keeps saying Alexei's name and** _ **Будь ласка**_ **and something in broken, wrecked Ukrainian, so Alexei decides they've both waited long enough. He repositions Snowy's head before he ducks down and presses his mouth gently against his friend's.**

 **The response is instantaneous.**

 **Snowy makes this** _ **sound**_ **—it's too desperate and frantic to be a moan—and his hands let go of Alexei's arms to grab at the back of his neck to try and pull them closer. What was meant to be a sweet and teasing kiss has quickly become something ravenous and urgent. His mouth opens under Alexei's and the taller man is too weak to resist the invitation.**

 **So he kisses and kisses and** _ **kisses**_ **his goalie, trying to pour his emotions into the other man—all his hope, his joy, his desire, his longing, his adoration. He wants Snowy to know how precious he is and how honoured Alexei is that Snowy is choosing him.**

 **Snowy resists when Alexei eventually tries to gentle his mouth to calm them down a bit. He grips Alexei's neck tighter and presses his gorgeous body right up against the taller man's, hips rolling upwards eagerly. Alexei has to pull his mouth away from Snowy's so he can bury his face into the other man's neck and try to rediscover oxygen.**

 **"Ненаглядный," he gasps out and struggles to think in English. "We…** **медленно** **. I take you…date first. Today. Tomorrow. Every day.** **Пожалуйста."**

 **The sound Snowy makes is somewhere between a groan and a whine. He mumbles something in his grandmother's tongue before switching to English. "Fuckin'** _ **death**_ **of me."**

 **"I date you," Alexei repeats into Snowy's neck, trying think of something other than pinning the other man against** _ **anything**_ **and letting his filthy fantasies play out. "Date first, because that is good and right and what you want."**

 **"You're going to be a fuckin'** _ **gentleman**_ **about this all? Ah,** _ **fuck**_ **, what did I get myself into?" Snowy's voice shakes a little with want and joy and hunger, but he eases back a bit.**

 **Alexei manages to lift his head and his heart nearly stops in his chest when he gets a good look at Snowy. Snowy's eyes are nearly black still, but he's looking at the taller man with something akin to wonderment, as if he can't believe anyone would want to woo him the way he** _ **deserves**_ **to be wooed.**

 **And Alexei can't have that. If anyone should be full of disbelief, it should be** _ **Alexei**_ **, not Snowy, because Snowy is talented and beautiful and could have** _ **anyone**_ **.**

 **So he gently cups Snowy's face and kisses him again, soft and sweet and slow. "** **Любимый," he murmurs again that warm mouth and it takes everything he has to pull away and step back.**

 **"Alexei—" Snowy bites off the rest of what he was going to say as the Russian carefully takes his hands of the back of his neck and tangles their fingers together after he dusts soft kisses over the knuckles.**

 **Alexei tries to smile gently but probably ends up beaming like an idiot. "We watch movie for first date," he says,** **lovingly tugging the other man into his living room. "And tomorrow, I take you out for brunch."**

 **"You ever think that maybe** _ **I**_ **want to take** _ **you**_ **out for brunch tomorrow?" Snowy asks, voice still rough and low.**

 **"No, I ask first. You have to wait until next time."**

 **"What if I don't want to fuckin' wait that long?"**

 **"Too bad. I ask first."**

 **"Oh, is that how it's going to be?"**

 **"That is how it is going to be." Alexei can't seem to stop smiling as he tries to pull Snowy down next to him on the couch.**

 **Snowy resists; instead, he drops down on Alexei's lap, straddling him before he pulls his hands away from the taller man's and runs his fingers through Alexei's hair. Alexei, unsurprisingly, melts and his head rolls forwards until it is resting against Snowy's shoulder.**

 **Snowy laughs gently. "** _ **Such**_ **a cat," he murmurs affectionately, but he doesn't stop his petting.**

 **When Snowy finally decides to climb off of Alexei's lap so he can cuddle up next to him, the larger man is nearly boneless. He contributes** _ **nothing**_ **when his—** _ **his!**_ **—goalie asks about what movie they should watch, but it doesn't matter because he doesn't watch whatever Snowy ends up picking. As soon as he gets some movement back, he's pulling Snowy close and watching** _ **him**_ **.**

 **Snowy is so** _ **gorgeous**_ **it's a bit unreal sometimes. And he was going to let Alexei take him out on dates. Hopefully, lots of them.**

 **The movie ends and neither one of them moves right away. It warms Alexei to the core that Snowy seems to want to stay curled up against his side as much as the larger man wants him to be there.**

 **Eventually, Snowy tilts his head towards him. "So," he says, a wicked glint entering his eyes. "This is the end of first date, eh?"**

 **Alexei's breathe catches. "** **Да," he agrees.**

 **Snowy's grin is positively** _ **wolfish**_ **. "That means it's my turn now," he murmurs before reaching up and pulling Alexei's mouth down to his.**

 **The taller man goes willingly. As he presses his mouth against the smiling one below his, he realises that, for the first time in a long time, he doesn't have to let himself be alone.**

 _ **x Fin x**_

 **Добраніч—Sleep well.**

 **Бувай—Bye.**

 **Да—Yes.**

 **Нет—No.**

 **Бабуся—Grandma.**

 **Гівно—Shit.**

 **Трахати—Fuck.**

 **Будь ласка—Please.**

 **Ненаглядный—Dear (wondrously beautiful) (masculine).**

 **Медленно** **—** **Slow.**

 **Пожалуйста** **—** **Please.**

 **Любимый—Beloved (masculine).**


End file.
